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Page 139
still limp. She slid down his body and took him in her mouth. It was not an act she often initiated, though once into it, she took real pleasure.
Suddenly she was desperate to satisfy him. "What's the problem?"
Calvin shook his head. "I don't know, I"
"Is it me? Am I doing something wrong?" She felt frantic.
"No, you're fine. I'm just . . ."
Before he could finish, she said, "Try." She could feel him strain, but nothing happened.
Damn it, it's me. I've killed his interest in me, I've killed our sex . . . She took him in her hand. "I want you in me," she said stroking him. "I want you to come in me. I want you to come in me, Calvin."
"Terry. calm down."
"I want to make love." She felt wild. Tears were blinding her. "We have to. Please get hard, please, I want you in me."
He made a stupid grin. "I'm trying, honey, I just can't"
"You've got to, Calvin." She felt ready to snap any minute. The buildup of all the anxiety of the last weeks was threatening to pull her under.
"Please, Terry, get hold of yourself."
"Calvin, make love to me." Her voice was shattering. Her tears fell on him.
"Honey, I want to, I just can't"
"What's wrong? What's happening? What's happening to us?"
"Terry, it's not you. I'm just a little tired . . ." His voice seemed to come from some faraway place.
"PLEASE!" she cried at the ceiling.
"Terry, control yourself."
Her head was spinning. Everything in the room took on a fluid unreality. Nothing was solid. Nothing made sense. She felt disoriented, as if loosed from the fabric of thingsas if gravity itself were failing. What she feared was yielding to a consuming fit that she would not be able to come out of.
"Quiet! It's Matty!"
Outside, Matty opened his door and padded into the hall bathroom. Calvin pulled on his top and yanked the covers over them.

 
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